As moms, we are familiar with what it's like to sacrifice every piece of ourselves for our families. We often give from an empty cup because there is no other choice. We often lose our identity and sense of purpose in being a mother because everything we do is mostly about our families, and there is little time for us to enjoy ourselves or do anything independently outside of the family space. We typically don't mind sacrificing and making sure our families are taken care of, because we know that it's what has to be done for the wellbeing of all. There does, however, come a certain point when our spirit can't take anymore.
I find myself explaining to people quite often that burnout does not only apply to the workplace. People go through their lives dissociated and operating on autopilot while doing the bare minimum to get by, and they think that's normal. This is actually burnout. Then they question why they aren't able to achieve any personal goals or do deep, intrinsic work. Or maybe they have been able to do some work, but they can't seem to get past a block they're experiencing, or they can't make the changes stick. This cycle leads to more depression, more feelings of lack, low self-worth, and imposter syndrome.
It's not that they don't want to get better. These people desperately want to heal. They just don't know how. They are stuck in a negative cycle and lack the knowledge and support that is necessary to get out of it. People were not meant to go through life alone. Life is hard. Community is scarce in today's time. Yet it is impossible to go through life alone.
They may struggle with being completely honest with themselves. They may say once they have this or that then they will be happy, but once that comes it doesn't change anything, or the change doesn't last. That's because they haven't really sat down and taken inventory of what they want and how they could realistically get there, or maybe they haven't taken inventory of their values, so they aren't living in line with those values. This isn't just about goals or values in the physical world. Oftentimes our outside problems come from our inside problems needing to be addressed and healed.
It seems like these people are living the same horrible day over and over. The same situations pop up in different ways. The same people do the same hurtful and annoying things that they've been asked not to do. No matter what, these people can't seem to escape the things that are driving them mad. So, life just feels like one giant joke, and like everyone is laughing at them.
It can be really difficult for people with trauma, or even people with distrust in life and in others, to open themselves up to receiving help, because it makes them vulnerable. However, once these people start letting other people in and being honest with themselves, beautiful things start happening for them.
What does being honest with yourself look like?
Being honest with yourself means that you are only saying truthful things to yourself. There is a small part of you that knows whether or not what you're thinking or saying is true. Sometimes we are extra hard on ourselves, and we know that the insults that we are telling ourselves aren't true. Sometimes we repeat hurtful things to ourselves that others have said to us in the past, and we know that it probably isn't true. Sometimes we tell ourselves that doing something bad one time is ok, even though we know we probably shouldn't. These are examples of being dishonest with ourselves.
We can be honest with ourselves by asking what is true instead.
Is it true that you are not capable enough or not worthy enough to get what you want? What is true instead?
Is it true that you are a terrible person because you messed up one time? What is true instead?
Is it true that you can't do the hard thing? What is true instead?
By being honest with ourselves, we can go deep enough to the core and find out what is true and what is holding us back. It is difficult to let go of things that are comfortable, even if they are painful. It feels safe because it is familiar. This type of thinking is fear-based and will keep us from doing anything outside of our comfort zones. Daring to venture outside of our comfort zones is the only path toward growth.
What beautiful things can happen when we are honest with ourselves?
Once we have gotten more practice at being honest with ourselves, surprising things start unfolding in our lives. We realize that the things we want are not that far out of reach, and things start to feel much less bleak. We are able to start getting closer to reaching our goals, and that motivates us to do more good things for ourselves, which snowballs into regular self-care, consistent self-growth, and so many other transformative changes.
Life is impossible to go through alone.
While you may be able to make a lot of positive changes on your own, you will inevitably hit a plateau and feel stuck again. This is when you get to call in your support team. Having good support in your life can be the difference between your continued growth, or your back-slide into old habits.
How a life coach can help.
How can a life coach help? As a life coach, it is my job to hold space for you to be yourself and to meet you where you are, to help you map out your dream and a plan on how to navigate it, to cheer you on when you are struggling, to push you when you need it, and to be a sturdy shoulder for you to lean on.
Don't wait until you feel hopeless.
The longer you wait to accept help, the more you prolong your abundant future. It would be my honor to share my information and experience with you as your life coach.
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